Potty Training Pirates

Anita · Posted: March 14, 2007, 7:16 am Post subject: Potty Training Pirates

Potty Training Pirates
©Lisa Barker

Today my three-year old is barefoot, wearing shorts, a
t-shirt and a necktie. It’s only fifty-four degrees.

Still, this is a vast improvement. His former attire
of choice was just a diaper and his Nemo sandals.

No matter what, though, he’s always a pirate in his
mind and heart and he always wears a necktie.

His sister asked him why he wears the necktie. He
said it’s because he’s ready to go to church. Now
what parent wouldn’t leap for joy at that
proclamation?

Me.

I told him he had to stop wetting his pants and start
using the bathroom like big boys (and pirates) do if
he wanted to join us at church. He’s not quite ready
to take the bait even though he really, really wants
to go.

I really, really don’t want to deal with a diaper
blowout in a solemn and sacred place...and I don’t
want to punctuate the service with his yowls as I
change him in the van outside.

So I’ve upped the ante. I let him know that he would
be able to go to church AND school (something he asks
about all the time) if he stopped wetting his pants.
I also told him he could even play in the front yard
with the other big kids.

I suspect that somewhere between me offering him a
pony and all the ice cream he can eat, he’ll see
things my way.

It’s not like there’s any rush. He’s the fifth child,
so we’re more lenient with him. The firstborn had to
be trained at two years of age. Within a week we were
accident free.

The next child took a bit longer. So now that we’ve
come to the last child our philosophy has become this:
He’ll stop going in his pants sometime before he
starts kindergarten. Right??

So how do YOU bribe your kids to stretch for that next
level of growth? How do you encourage them to try out
the next level of maturity?

It was the three-year old that came up with a
solution. He wants to play with his pirate ship in
the bathtub.

“You can’t do that if you’re not a big boy and use the
pot like you’re supposed to...ALL THE TIME.” I’m not
about to strain tub water for wayward misfired canon
balls.

“But I’m a pirate!”

“And I’m the British Navy. No potty and poop in the
pot, no sailing.” Tough ultimatum for a pirate, I
know.

I think we may have reached a compromise. He’s
stocking up supplies for his ship in anticipation of a
maiden voyage. We’ll see.

Even Captain Hook had to give up pull-ups for
underpants at some point. Arrr.

. . . . . . . . . . .
Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five
and author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You
Insane... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is
syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent.
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